Seven years ago, scientists at the Steward Observatory in Tucson, Arizona, began constructing the world's largest mirror: the 28-foot-diameter Large Binocular Telescope Mirror (LBTM). Impressive? Yes, but we have one that's bigger. And more useful. Compare: Astronomers aimed the LBTM toward the heavens to look for signs of extraterrestrial life. We held ours up to the nation to find signs of the good life. Theirs cost a cool $4 million. Ours ran you 4 bucks. And while the LBTM is unwieldy at 18 tons, this magazine fits neatly in a gym bag.

There is, however, one area in which the statistical and literal looking glasses come out even: in the effort that went into building them. For example, our stat squad tallied the number of chest-clutching catastrophes and the rate at which cancer claims guys' lives; the percentage of men willing to invest some sweat, and the odds that their bank accounts are bulging; and the number of men dodging depression, and how crazy they'd be to walk the streets at night.

When the calculations were complete, we had a lot to reflect on. Of the 101 cities in the running, a few cracked the glass (Detroit, Shreveport), while others were the spitting image of urban excellence (Madison, Austin). Go ahead and look at your own hometown. And if you don't like what you see? We'll tell you--and all your neighbors--how to change the man, not the mirror.

Suck It In
Best air quality: Portland, OR Worst: Bakersfield, CA Maybe it's the Cascade Mountains to the east. Or the beach a mere 2-hour drive to the west. Either way, Portland scored grade-A air. Bakersfield, on the other hand, bombed. One reason: An estimated 200,000 trees have been cut back, so they no longer offer shade from the city's triple-digit days. The resultant rise in overall temperature means heavier AC usage, and that means more air pollution. How men in Bakersfield can catch up: Plant your own forest. While it's hard to single-handedly scrub the skies, you can at least clean the air in your own home with an areca palm. Also known as a yellow or butterfly palm, this plant is easy to care for, does well in an indoor setting, and releases large amounts of water vapor into the air. It's considered one of the best houseplants for removing air toxins, including formaldehyde and xylene, which can be found in paints and particleboard. You can buy one at most garden centers.
Inspect Your Airbags
Most men dying of lung cancer: Indianapolis, IN Fewest: Laredo, TX Why are so many men in Indy racing toward a fatal collision with lung cancer? The usual reason: "Indianapolis has a relatively high rate of people who smoke, and smoke heavily," says Richard Freeman, M.D., the director of the thoracic-malignancy clinic at St. Vincent Hospital in Indianapolis. How men in Indianapolis can catch up: Step 1: Quit smoking. Step 2: Have your blood pressure checked, and if it's high, talk to your doctor about ACE inhibitors. These BP meds help to produce angiotensin-(1-7), a hormone that regulates blood pressure and may also help prevent lung cancer. University of Glasgow researchers recently discovered that people on ACE inhibitors were 65 percent less likely to develop lung cancer than those taking other BP drugs.
The Baldest Cities
1. Corpus Christi, TX 2. Washington, DC 3. Baltimore, MD 4. San Antonio, TX 5. Atlanta, GA Everything's bigger in Texas--including, apparently, men's foreheads. When we combined CDC data on doctor visits for male-pattern baldness with per capita sales of Rogaine, two Lone Star cities made the top five in MIA follicles. "San Antonio has a higher-than-average rate of diabetes, and research points to a link between insulin resistance and hair loss," says Vivian Bucay, M.D., a dermatologist in private practice in San Antonio. In addition, Dr. Bucay says that male-pattern baldness "can be exacerbated if men constantly wear tight caps" (or in this case, cowboy hats).
Take Your Iron
Most men lifting weights: San Jose, CA Fewest: Pittsburgh, PA It's ironic: The men in Steel City, USA, aren't into iron. "Men here prefer to run, bike, and play team sports like softball and basketball," says John Jakicic, Ph.D., chairman of the department of health and physical activity at the University of Pittsburgh. In other words, most of the fit men in Pittsburgh are firmly entrenched in a culture of cardio. Perhaps to them, building muscle is an exercise in vanity. How men in Pittsburgh can catch up: Lose the one-dimensional view of lifting. Doing lower-body exercises like the squat and leg press will help you run and pedal faster, as well as cause you to burn more fat when you're standing still. Add upper-body work, specifically ab- and back-building moves, and you'll strengthen the source of all forward movement--your core. Jakicic recommends a routine of eight to 12 repetitions of six to eight upper- and lower-body exercises 3 days a week.
Burn Blubber
Men with the lowest BMIs: Washington, DC Highest: St. Louis, MO It may be the home of pork-barrel politics, but D.C.'s male population is far from porcine. In fact, the average BMI is just 25.7 (about 4 points lower than in St. Louis). "Washington is a very sophisticated city--it has a very high population of people who are well educated, and they're much more likely to be serious about dealing with the problem of weight," says Arthur Frank, M.D., medical director of George Washington University's weight-management program. How men in St. Louis can catch up: Do more surfing. When University of Vermont researchers had 255 overweight people try either an Internet-based weight-loss support group or an in-person support group, they discovered that those who went online did a better job of maintaining their weight loss after 18 months. Not sure where to click to find help? Go to the Men's Health Belly-Off! forum at MensHealth.com/bellyoff for a cyber support group with a proven track record.
The Limpest Cities
1. Chicago, IL 2. Washington, DC 3. Atlanta, GA 4. Detroit, MI 5. Houston, TX Could the breeze be all that's reliably stiff in the Windy City? It appears so, based on erectile-dysfunction diagnoses by region and the number of Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra prescriptions dispensed per capita. But there is another possibility: Like Mike Ditka, the poster boy for Levitra, guys in Chi-Town might simply be more willing to seek help for a down-and-out love life. Either way, if they--or you--need a boost and Viagra hasn't helped, combining it with AndroGel, a topical testosterone gel, may be the solution. Men who used this combination for 4 weeks reported a 50 percent improvement in erectile function.
Don't Give in to the Pressure
Most men with high blood pressure: Shreveport, LA Fewest: Toledo, OH "I heard once that the beverage of choice in the South is gravy," jokes Michael Fleming, M.D., a practicing physician in Shreveport and president of the American Academy of Family Physicians. Sadly, this isn't all that far off the mark. "Obesity is a major issue here--the culture lends itself to a poor diet, which leads to hypertension," says Dr. Fleming. How men in Shreveport can catch up: Watch what you eat--and how you breathe. According to a recent 8-week study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, people with high blood pressure who used an electronic device that teaches people deep-breathing techniques lowered their systolic pressure by an average of 5.5 points and diastolic by 3.6 points. Slower, deeper breathing helps relax the endothelial tissues that regulate bloodflow, say the researchers. To get the benefits without buying the device, take 15 minutes a day to practice slowing your breathing rate to 10 or fewer deep breaths per minute.
Guard Your Gland
Most men dying of prostate cancer: Montgomery, AL Fewest: San Francisco, CA You could attribute all of San Fran's success against prostate cancer to early detection of the disease, but don't. "You can't discount a relaxed West Coast lifestyle in preventing and treating prostate cancer," says Peter Carroll, M.D., chairman of the department of urology at the University of California at San Francisco. And Dr. Carroll has the research to prove his point: A recent UCSF study determined that stress reduction may help protect against prostate-cancer progression. How men in Montgomery can catch up: Tame office tension. There are all sorts of stress-busting strategies, but Daniel Amen, M.D., a psychiatrist, brain researcher, and Men's Health columnist, recommends using a technique called Kirtan meditation at the start of every workday. "Sit quietly, breathe deeply, and repeat 'Saa, taa, naa, maa,' while touching the thumbs of both hands to the second, third, fourth, and fifth fingers in turn," he says. "It's stimulating and relaxing at the same time." Which is good, because people who are too relaxed at work usually end up unemployed.
Defend the Rear
Most men dying of colon cancer: New Orleans, LA Fewest: Raleigh, NC New Orleans is known for its decadent lifestyle, and that includes the famed French Quarter food--beignets with powdered sugar, crawfish etouffee, spicy andouille sausage. And maybe that's part of the reason that 2 1/2 times more men die of colon cancer here than in Raleigh. According to a new finding from the United Kingdom's Institute of Food Research, 80 percent of colorectal-cancer cases are attributable to diet. How men in New Orleans can catch up: Order gumbo sans sausage and top off that fried-oyster po'boy sandwich with bean sprouts. A recent study from Ireland's University of Ulster showed that the disease-fighting compounds, such as isoflavones, in sprouts can help stem the DNA damage that leads to colorectal cancer. After 2 weeks of eating 2 to 3 cups of sprouts per day, people in the study experienced a 10 percent drop in DNA damage, says study author Ian Rowland, Ph.D. Sprouts are a salad-bar mainstay; top every salad with a cupful.
Don't Blow It
Most men dying of stroke: St. Louis, MO Fewest: New York, NY Another reason to call New York "The City That Never Sleeps": The medical community won't be caught napping if you have a stroke. "New Yorkers have access to the technology and expertise to deal with a stroke quickly, rather than letting things happen and then dealing with the problem," says Carolyn Brockington, M.D., director of the stroke-prevention program at Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan. By contrast, men in St. Louis are croaking from strokes at an alarming rate--three times more guys die of stroke annually than in NYC. How men in St. Louis can catch up: Avoid having a stroke in the first place. According to a new study published in the journal Neurology, those people with the lowest daily intakes of vitamin C--less than 95 milligrams (mg)--were 30 percent more likely to experience a stroke than those who consumed 133 mg. It's believed that the antioxidant properties of vitamin C help protect cells from stroke-inducing oxidative damage. One 12-ounce glass of ruby red grapefruit juice (the not-from-concentrate kind) contains all the C you need in a day, plus blood-pressure-lowering lycopene.
The Best Cities for Babes
1. Washington, DC 2. San Francisco, CA 3. Minneapolis, MN 4. Seattle, WA 5. Boston, MA Maybe it's all the cute congressional interns. We analyzed U.S. Census data and found the highest percentage of young, single, college-educated women in D.C., which now stands for "Dating Capital." Just there for a visit? Check out Local 16 at 1602 U Street NW; its warm, shabby-chic interior fills up nightly with smart, sharp-looking women. And don't worry about the competition; D.C. was also one of the baldest and limpest cities.
Prime the Pump
Most men dying of heart disease: Detroit, MI Fewest: Minneapolis, MN Even though the men in Minneapolis are half as likely to die of heart disease as their Motor City brothers, they can still clog their arteries with the worst of them. "The number of people having heart attacks isn't going down, but if you have one here, your chance of survival is better," says Timothy Henry, M.D., director of research at the Minneapolis Heart Institute. One reason: Guys grabbing their chests in Minneapolis are less likely to receive clot-busting drugs than they are angioplasties, which produce higher survival rates. How men in Detroit can catch up: Commit to 30 minutes of intense exercise every day--but with breathers throughout the half hour. Doctors at the University of Missouri recently discovered that when people alternated 10 minutes of running with 20 minutes of rest until they had run 30 minutes total, they had half as many triglycerides as when they simply ran for a half hour straight. Researchers think that as the body recovers from a workout, it produces more lipoprotein lipase, a triglyceride-clearing enzyme.